The Brief

Some projects arrive with fanfare. This one arrived with fog machines, a thunderclap, and a note from Disney that said:
“Could you make people laugh about death, please? In rhyme. At a family event. In two days.”

Disney's Haunted Mansion (2023) is a a gothic comedy based on the beloved theme park ride, known for its eerie atmosphere, gothic visuals, and darkly funny tombstone epitaphs placed throughout the queue.

For the UK premiere, Disney wanted to bring that iconic humour to life in physical form: signage, event decor, and atmospheric copy that would nod to the ride while making the premiere experience unique to London.

Our job was to write a set of original, eerie-yet-playful tombstone lines in the voice of the original Imagineers, dry, clever, and family-friendly, to bring a bit of posthumous flair to the blue carpet.

It had to feel part of the canon, PG-rated, Instagrammable, and good enough to make a Disney exec snort on the blue carpet.

The Research & Context (what I learned from talking to dead people)

I revisited the ride. Read the original Imagineers’ lines. Listened to fan forums, all for tone. That dry, self-aware camp. The delight in something dreadful. The kind of humour that sounds like it’s been carved in stone... maybe ghostwritten by Oscar Wilde after a bottle of absinthe.

Audience Insights

• The event was open to press, influencers, creators, and families, not die-hard horror fans, but a wide audience familiar with Disney IP.

• It took place mid-summer, mid-strike (WGA/SAG-AFTRA), meaning no cast appearances. The premiere needed to work harder visually and experientially.

• We knew that the fans who love the Haunted Mansion ride love the humour as much as the visuals, so the copy had to hit that nostalgic, slightly macabre, cheekily clever tone.

Tone Goal

• Victorian absurdity meets Disney PG.

• Every line needed to sound like it had been carved in stone and updated by a bored writer with a wicked sense of humour.

• Copy had to feel quotable, photo-worthy, and like it belonged in the Mansion canon, but updated to the modern Premiere.

What It Needed to Do

• Be instantly funny and legible in a crowd.

• Make people feel like they were inside the Haunted Mansion lore, even without cast or set builds.

• Tie into the ride’s history while giving the UK premiere its own flavour.

• Cinematic or premiere context

• Actual rhyme & poetic rhythm

• Humour that matches the Haunted Mansion vibe

• Shareability, memorability, and just the right amount of camp

The Copy (little poems about death)

Tombstone rhymes with a cinematic twist, for those who perished at the premiere.

• R.I.P. Sue. Queued all day. Lost her breath. Stylish death.

• Dear old Mae. Brought plus one. Checked the list. She had none.

• R.I.P. Lou. Wore Barbie pink. Wrong universe. Had time to think.

• R.I.P. Kate. No press pass. Tried to run. Ghosts move fast.

• Here lies Shane. Big on clout. Took one selfie. Never got out.

• Beloved Dean. Booked for two. Left alone. Watched by you.

• Here lies a soul called Jude. He mocked the vibe, jeez, how rude.

• Here lies a gent named Lee. He queued too long and ceased to be.

• Here may poor Mr Jones. Sat in Row Z. Now he’s just bones.

• Here lies Mrs Nose. Claimed “ghosts aren’t real”, now she knows.

• Here lies a dame called Tess. She found her seat and joined the rest.

• Here lies Chloe. Said “too tame.” Now she's a ghost. In that frame.

• Here lies Glenn. Asked the time. Guard said “Forever.” That seemed fine.

• Here lies Nia. Tried to plead. The guard said “Boo.” That was all she’d need.

• R.I.P. Cass. Sat alone. Heard a voice. Not her own.

• Here lies Bree. Took her place. Saw herself. Face to face.

• Poor old Len. Lost his way. Asked for help. They made him stay.

• Here sleeps Beth. Asked for help. Guard said “Sure.” Then vanished himself.

• In memory of Lou. Snuck inside. Found his chair. Still occupied.

• Rest well, Maggie. Saw no screen. Just her name. In every scene.

• R.I.P. Darcy. Loved a twist. Turned too fast. Now doesn’t exist.

• R.I.P. Faye. Waited in style. Wrong premiere. Haunted mile.

• In memoriam Danny Shaw. Laughed too hard. Swallowed his jaw.

• R.I.P. Claire. Craved the screen. Ate ten snacks. Left between.

• Here rests Jill. Left for a wee. The exit closed. Eternally.

• R.I.P. Finn. Knew the cast. Said “I’m on the list.” That was his last.

• In loving memory Philip Strong. Watched the short. Stayed too long.

• R.I.P. Jordan. Fresh in his tux. Said “I know the director.” Then got hit by a truck.

• Here lies Gem. Just a young teen. Tripped the red carpet. Died on the scene.

• Rest well, Nina. Who couldn’t wait. Bought 4DX. Ascended fate.

• Here lies Tom. Who dared to boo. A ghostly hand. Said “Not you.”

• Here lies Chris. Gave a spoiler. Resting now. Six feet boiler.

• Here lies Gina. Late to start. Tripped on a step. And lost her part.

• Beloved Aunt Mags. In full regret. Fell asleep. And hasn’t left yet.

• Here lies Dot. Foyer-bound soul. Left for a wee. Fell in a hole.

• R.I.P. Milly Moon. Texted loudly. Left too soon.

• In memory of Lyle. Who wore a cape. Shouted “Plot hole!” No escape.

• Here rests Polly. Kept it chic. Slipped on fog. Mid-influencer peak.

• Here sleeps Barry. Bold and strong. Went to the loos. But stayed too long.

• R.I.P. Sneaky Vince. Who stole a prop. Never seen since.

• Sweet Aunt Petra. Loved the thrill. Got married once. And never will.

• In memory of old Jane McRae. Who spoke to a portrait. And faded away.

• Here lies Grace. Dressed to kill. Wore ten-inch heels. Rolled down the hill.

• In memory of Stan. A fanboy true. Misread the time. Missed Act Two.

• Rest well, Ruby. Queued for fun. Lost her phone. Became plus one.

• Here rests Kev. Shouted “Fake!” Now floats inside the photo lake.

• Here lies Charlotte. Loved the score. Danced too hard. Right through the floor.

• In memory of Hugh. A VIP. Walked the wrong way. Joined the deceased.

• Here sleeps Ella. Haunted head. Clapped off-beat. Now fully dead.

• R.I.P. James. Ignored the sign. Entered early. Left behind.

• Poor little Lenny. Front row seats. Got too scared. Spilled his treats.

The Result

Despite no cast, no traditional glitz, and limited press, the premiere became a surprisingly charming, ghost-themed night out.

Due to the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike, the premiere was lower-key than a typical Disney rollout, with no cast present and limited press. But the goal was to make the event feel memorable anyway. This project served as a fast-turnaround, culturally literate, IP-specific exercise in creative tone-matching.

The project pumped up my skills in voice adaptation, event-first copywriting, and writing for physical, experiential formats.

Most importantly, it reminded me what good copy really does:

It doesn’t sell. It hangs in the fog, waits in the wings, and whispers when you’ve gone to bed. It knows the exit signs. And chooses not to use them.